My Favorite Topic!

A week after getting naked in front of the cameras with a 21-year old extra from her disastrous new music video, Britney Spears is now in the midst of being sued for custody by ex-back-up-dancer-husband Kevin Federline. This means that she is seeing everyone around her subpoenaed to testify about what a bad mother she is. She is comforting herself by buying "a puppy a day" and planning repeated, disastrous "comebacks". In other Britney news, I think her head has gone through a pretty interesting evolution since the big shave-off.

Let's take a look:

Stage 1: Shaves Head and then just walks around bald or in a dirty gray hoodie for a while.

Stage 2: Wears any number of hideous hats and wigs hat-wigs to cover bald head and what must have been embarrassingly rat-like hair re-growth.

Stage 3: Gets extensions, but keeps roots hidden with hideous hat or equally hideous selection of bandanas.

Stage 4: The Pink Wig (need we say more)

Stage 5: Brit has finally removed the bandana. You can kind of start to see that she actually has a pretty face in the picture on the left!

Nicole Richie has breasts now. This is big news to everybody, mostly because nobody has any idea what the hell else is going on with her besides that. Shortly after she was convicted of her DUI 3 weeks ago, it was rumored that she was going to jump right into her 5-day jail sentence - while 5 months pregnant! But nope, it didn't actually happen. Instead, she did a Joel Madden-accompanied interview with Diane Sawyer and spilled on a few things - mostly just about how she's not doing drugs with baby. Not even heroin! Go Nicole!

Paris Hilton has become the ultimate philanthropist. The ultimate. She has been doing all sorts of charitable things lately. She has also been talking about it. As part of her image makeover, she has sold her Hollywood hills mansion and only smoked pot in public once since jail. But no, the philanthropy has not taken the party girl out of Paris completely - she seems to have thrown a party at her Malibu beach house practically every weekend this summer. At least it gives the paparazzi the opportunity to snap shots of celebrities in their bikinis - Paris really is a philanthropist!

Lindsay Lohan was spotted for the first time today since her relapse/car chase/arrest. Supposedly she is actually in rehab somewhere. Meanwhile, her lawyers are stuck dealing with the lawsuit filed by the mother of her former assistant - who Lindsay was chasing when she was pulled over. I'm still wondering exactly why she was chasing the assistant who had already quit on her ass - to convince her to come back to work?? To demand it? Dude, Lindsay is crazy as crazy gets. Poor girl. Since she's been out of the limelight, her mom and dad have been soaking up most of the attention lately - whether they mean to or not. While they have each pretty much earned the "worst parent ever" title independently of one another, Dina and Michael have taken up the practice of blaming each other for all of their daughter’s problems. Way to come together in amidst family crisis!

People are now predicting that Hayden Panettiere will be the next Lindsay Lohan (which Hayden is not happy about). I'm not really seeing it. Hayden seems to have a pretty good head on her shoulders, but then again, so did Lindsay back in 2003 before she lost 15 pounds and became a coke addict.

How about a little mention for the Brits too. Pete Doherty is such a basket case - how a guy as pasty, scrawny and generally unattractive as Pete ever snagged supermodel Kate Moss is beyond me. But not as far out as him cheating on her regularly, Kate sticking with him for years in spite of it, and him now trying to sell her out. Since the break-up, Pete has kept himself busy getting arrested on a regular basis for drugs. . . big surprise there...and all the more reason for Kate to ditch him for good!

Lily Allen is banned from America and has been showing people how pissed she is about that by regularly kicking things and showing the camera her nipples.

Amy Winehouse takes the cake though - last week she overdosed on heroin, coke, ecstasy and a horse tranquilizer. yes, a horse tranquilizer. Amy overdosed so bad that she collapsed, was rushed to the hospital, had her stomach pumped, and needed an adrenaline injection to come back to life. Two days later, and after releasing a sincere statement about how life-changing her death scare had been, she was caught with the heroin AGAIN by her best friend - at which point her family stopped listening to her say "no, no, no" to rehab and sent her ass packing - along with her druggie hubby Blake Filder-Civil. Damnit Amy, don't ruin a good thing - you've got real talent, woman!

Newly engaged Eddie Murphy is firing back at Melanie Brown for slapping him with lawsuits and calling him a bad daddy. I can't wait to hear his explanation for pretending Mel's baby wasn't even his!

More lawsuits! Foxy Brown is accused of throwing her Blackberry at her neighbor. Rocker/monster Marilyn Manson is being sued by band mate Stephen Bier Jr. for using band money to buy random crap like his ex-wife Dita Von Teese's engagement ring. Dita, by the way, is now talking about what a terrible husband Marilyn was and how glad she is to be single. Meanwhile, Marilyn's new girlfriend Evan Rachel Wood - who looks unshockingly similar to Dita - is getting pissy about being made fun of for dating the the freakish middle-aged outcast. She says: "I'm sorry if I have blonde hair and blue eyes and my boyfriend looks like a vampire. What do you want me to do about it?" You tell 'em Evan! On a side note, isn't it funny that Marilyn has a woman's name and Evan has a man's name?

Finally - Tara Reid is scaring people by bearing her "tummy" (if you can call it that) in bikinis and showing up at paparazzi events lately.

Well, that's pretty much the best Hollywood dirt goin' on lately. But I will be sure to check back in and let you know if Spencer Pratt starts a catfight with Lauren Conrad!

Peace n Love readers!