Following her fifteenth meltdown of the year at the VMAs, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have been battling in court for custody of little Jayden and Sean Preston. K-Fed's lawyer, Britney's lawyer, and the lawyer for Brit's ex-bodyguard Tony Barretto (now a begrudging witness for K-Fed's camp) have all been in the media spotlight this week, using their clients for self-promotion. Everyone expected Britney to lose her kids going into the trial, given that she was dropped by another manager and lawyer amidst the allegations of "nudity, drug use and safety issues". But I think people were forgetting that Kevin isn't the picture of perfection either - far from it - and the court ruled that both parents will need to complete twice-weekly drug tests, remain sober around their kids, and attend parent counseling...together.

I keep getting this horrifying image of Britney and K-Fed sitting in a shrink's office together talking about their kids day after day until they bond over all that family stuff and fall back in love. For the sake of avoiding such a nightmare, I'd prefer to see them trashing each other publicly for the next ten years. Anyway, in preparation for the life-altering terms of their custody agreement to set in, Britney and Kevin have been busy squeezing in as much drug-induced partying and clubbing as possible. K-Fed might be banging Nicole Narain, while Britney has stooped to an all-time low and is rumored to be dating Nick. Freaking. Carter. Actually, I take back what I said earlier. Britney and Kevin should get back together. If Brit insists upon dating douchebags, she might as well date the one who is gonna help take care of her kids, right?

An even nastier custody battle is underway between Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards. Denise is asking for full custody of their two daughters due to Charlie's "inappropriate behavior" which includes "sexual explicitness on the Internet, "revealing his private parts", beating his dog, and yelling at his kids. Charlie has of course fired back that Denise "behaves as though she owns our children" and says "a day of legal reckoning for her is fast approaching." Oooooh, scary..."legal reckoning." Have to say, Denise's claims sound a little more credible. But for the sake of their kids, lets hope they're not!

Is there trouble in Posh's and Becks's L.A. paradise? The mistress from David's naughty 2004 affair - Rebecca Loos - is coming to L.A. to pursue acting. And Victoria is NOT happy about it. A friend of the couple tells Britain's Star Magazine, "Rebecca going to Los Angeles is Victoria's worst nightmare. One of the reasons the Beckham's moved there in the first place is because David felt like he owed Victoria after the whole Rebecca scandal." But according to the ex-mistress, Posh has more to worry about than just her: "there are plenty of gorgeous girls in Los Angeles. I don't know if David is going to be a good boy." Oh snap!

Introducing...Demi Kutcher! Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have been happily married for 2 years but Demi just recently made the full switch, adopting Ashton's last name on her driving license and credit cards. Hopefully Demi has not embraced the full "wife" status as a result of giving up on her acting career, though. The plastic surgery guru recently told media: "It's been a challenging few years, being the age I am. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don't know what to do with me. I am not 20. Not 30." She does have a point, but, perhaps if she were to allow herself to age naturally she could get parts intended for a woman her actual age - and play a mother or adult rather than just the sexy and young women she has been playing throughout her career???

Zanessa may be no more. On the heels of Vanessa Hudgens' nude picture scandal and legal charges of unpaid fees hurled by her attorney, the young vixen was seen at a party amidst heavy flirting with an older guy. Days later, Zac Efron returned from a month of promoting Hairspray overseas and the two were spotted looking quite...serious upon his return. Now word is they've split. This wouldn't be surprising - new fame tends to cause such things...but the REAL question is: were they ever really together in the first place...or was their "relationship" yet another fame-seeking publicity romance? (think TomKat) Moreover - and I hate to judge him on the basis of his perfectly gelled hair and very very pretty facial features - but is Zac Efron gay??

Hayden Panettiere has moved on from ex-boyfriend Stephen Colletti with none other than her Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia. The two were spotted getting cozy at an Emmy's after-party before going home together. Meanwhile, Stephen might have moved on too! He and old flame/co-star Lauren Conrad have been spotted together again, arousing suspicion that they could be giving their Laguna Beach romance another try.

In other Hills news, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt make me want to throw up. Truly. If I have to watch them act for the cameras, call each other sweetie, or delusionally question why Lauren doesn't like them anymore I think I will pull my hair out.

Meanwhile, Adrian Grenier and Paris Hilton are still pretending to be just friends, or, as Adrian called them, "mutual mentors." And I think we all know what he means when he says "mentor". Okay, okay, I'll admit it...I think they're kinda cute and that Adrian's words about "really liking her, genuinely" are totally sweet. Yuck, that's enough mush for one blog.

Jenny McCarthy was on the cover of People Magazine for a feature about her young autistic son and relationship with Jim Carrey. Although she's never been one to decline a little naked exploitation of her hotness, Jenny McCarthy has also shown herself to be a pretty solid lady with more going on upstairs than you would expect of a blonde bombshell who got her start on "Singled Out". She and Jim Carrey are still going strong and she talks to People about how inspiring Jim, aka. "the autism whisperer" has been for her son. It would not surprise me in the least if "inspiration" in the context of Jim Carrey looks more like "causing laughter"...and hey, why not, they say laughter is one of the best therapies around?

Finally, to close with the best and most important news ever - the Sex and the City movie has started filming! I can't tell you how overjoyed I am about this development. Too bad it is not going to be out until bloody MAY of 2008. Odd/interesting additions to the show include Charlotte's pregnancy and casting Jennifer Hudson to play Carrie Bradshaw's assistant. It will certainly be interesting to see if the movie manages to uphold the caliber and popularity of the t.v. series, won't it? I wonder what Carrie and Big will be like as a married couple. We've only ever seen Big as a single bachelor - seeing him be all relationshipy during season 6's finale was weird enough...but behaving like an actual HUSBAND?! Wow. This will be a site to see!